Sunday, February 28, 2010

My Desk-Riding Suit...

It's been a couple of years since I worked the road. During my time doing it, I loved interdiction stops, consent searches, and using the narcotics detection dogs. LOVED. In the time since I stopped working the road, I've been driving a desk. Not much interdicting to be done from there. I also have about an hour drive to and from work, which isn't all that great. However, once in a great while, it provides me the opportunity to have a little fun.

I was headed home last week when I went to pass a piece of shit early 90's Ford Escort. There were 3 people in it and it was the only other car in sight. As I passed I saw the front passenger tapping his one hitter pipe that was made to look like a cigarette on his window. After I was in front of them, I watched the passenger light up and take a few hits.

Now, sure, it's probably just a simple possession charge, along with drug paraphernalia. But remember, I drive a desk. So I am arguing with myself about whether or not I'm going to call it in. As I'm doing this, I notice that the driver isn't doing too hot at maintaining his speed. We're on the Interstate and he's going anywhere from 55 to 80. This won out the argument and I called.

Long story short, they were eventually stopped by my former agency and a County Deputy. I stopped as well, since I knew all the cops, and they let me play. Remember, I live in the Midwest and it is cold here.

So I'm out playing real cop. Of course, the 16 year old passenger who I clearly saw with the pipe is lying right to my face. Nothing has changed there in the last 3 years. When I point-blanked him about it he said "I never did that". And he would've been pretty convincing to anyone who hadn't seen him do it. I was marginally impressed with his lying ability, if there is such a thing. In my conversation with the youngster, he tells me that dear ol' dad is serving 40-45 years in prison for Attempted Murder and Arson and tells me dad's name. Must have learned how to lie and douchebaggery in general from his pop. By this time, I'm floored with the shock of how everything is different (sarcasm here, people).

The driver denied consent to search. Again, nothing has changed. So another officer brought his narcotics detection dog and - SURPRISE - the dog alerted on the car. Of course, there's dope and the very same pipe I saw the juvenile idiot with right where he was sitting. Nothing new.

The juvie got brand new shiny bracelets and the other two young 'uns had to wait an hour for mommy to come pick them up. I later checked on junior's "prison dad" story. Dad was actually convicted of arson and burglary and is doing two concurrent 15 year sentences. The kid can't even tell the truth about that.

I was surprised, legitimately, by one thing. As I was walking back to my car, I noticed that I was a lot colder than I used to be. I used to wear layers of Under Armour and long johns under my winter uniform and rarely, if ever used a coat. On this night, wearing the warmest winter coat I've ever had, my teeth were chattering and I couldn't clench my fists well due to the cold. Then I realized why I was so cold - Desk-Riding Suits weren't made for traffic stops.

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